CITY POWER RANKING - LVIV (UKRAINE)

So now that I've got a taste of the city, here is its ranking:

LVIV 7.5/10

Liveability: 9.0/10.0
The city is old with beautiful architecture. I'd walk down the street towards a beautiful cathedral, then turn around, and be like, "oh shit!" and head in that direction. The rent is definitely affordable if you make a western salary and the city has more of a European feel than a Soviet feel. The food is better, but there is still no spinach to be found. No matter its beauty, human crafted aesthetics can never compare to the beauty in the way that soil erosion, rock cycles, and water sculpts the Pacific coastline. Lviv is a very romantic city -- dimly lit coffee shops provide many places to max out and lounge, but a good cup is still impossible to find. However, in narrow cobblestone streets, tunnel-lit alleys and rustic cafes, you can definitely find inspiration. The food is definitely affordable -- you can get a meat-filled pastry from the street stands for $.50 or a pretty decent meal for no more than $8 (sit down and all).

Nightlife: 7.0/10
Discotechs aren't in abundance but there are a ton of other options. In one night, we went to an improv show (by the way, Ukrainian humor really is not advanced and just plain silly, in the worst conceiveable way, I fucking hate it, they're fucking lame when it comes to comedy, they make Koreans seem like Chris Rock), ice skating, a discotech (that combines an internet cafe, a danceclub, lounge, and downstairs lounge, and hip hop room in one place...lots of real estate), and a nice dinner. We actually tried to get into an underground private bar for nationalists -- I'm talking password to get in, no sign, business card says "somewhere near the center" with no address posted, and the bouncer is an old Ruskie outfitted in military garb and holding a fucking machine gun; thankfully they were at capacity because I was afraid they'd force me to sing the Ukrainian national anthem...with my anus. But as for singing and all things music related, I've come to the conclusion that I can't spend too much time in a place without any soul. Motherfuckers at the disco went bananas when Bon Jovi (It's My Life) came on, then came C+C Music Factory, and some other pop shit and that's when I lost all hope that a Ukrainian will ever be on the forefront of good music. Still, I'd live here for a year.


Culture: 7.0/10.0
Coffee shops abound, nice street art/grafitti scene, inspiration is everywhere (Lonely Planet says the city will turn anyone into a photographer or writer, which is very true) and there is an art community presence.

People: 4.7/10
I found the people here to actually be friendlier and more open to foreigners. I was able to seek and find help to get around, find taxis, and etc. I think it's really just because it's a smaller town vs. a metropolis because the people are still very stoic and punchable. I gave it such a low rating because there is a strong presence of anti-semitism -- swastikas painted on the walls, old men gathering in the center to bitch and moan and talk about communism and nationalism while vendors there peddle off Ukrainian insignia (flags, buttons, shirts with the map on it, underwear with the map on it, commie-naise mayo). But fortunately, those old motherfuckers will die off soon and hopefully the new generation will rebel against such negative groupthink.

Funny thing happened to me yesterday. An old man with a Helly Hanson bubblegoose was walking by, saw me (and Patrick), stopped in his tracks, pivoted right towards me, and stared at me -- about 2 feet away from me, with striking curiosity. This guy was around 40 years old and had stalagmites for upper teeth and just had this plain, fucking stupid look on his face as if I was Elvis riding a unicorn. So what did I do? I stared right back at him with the same stupid look and laughed. His inquisitive eyes seem to have asked me, "What are you?" My snarling stare probably answered to him, "I am the New World. Motherfucker, I am globalization."

PROS
Old European romance. Inspiring coffee shops. Alleys you can happily get lost in.

CONS
Anti-semites! I don't care if I'm not Jewish; that just shows a lack of understanding and a train of thought that manages to persist throughout the generations. The other thing I would say is that there is absolutely no edge to the city; it is physically impossible to cut butter here.