FEBRUARY 19, 2008 - DREAM LOG

I've been having some strange dreams since I've been away:

CHOCOLATE BOB - Upon my return I was talking about weed and how wasteful the spliff (that I smoked a few days ago) was. Rex, Roche, Roy and I were in Rex's living room. They packed a bowl of Cali weed and I underestimated it; snobbishly writing it off because it wasn't OG Kush. Shortly after, I found myself on my back, scissor kicking God and laughing hysterically. Rex, then, started to call me Chocolate Bob.

DAD HAS A BEETLE - My father was criving the family down a street (this dream occurred the same night I broke my toe) fast and wrecklessly. I was sitting shotgun and yelled for him to slow down as we bulleted towards a sharp left turn. We smash against a cinder block wall and the entire right side of my face gets smashed in. Car's ok, face is swollen but numb like I just came back from the dentist. I hold onto my cheek and start bitching out my pops: "What the hell were you thinking?" "Why didn't you slow down?" "Who do you think you are?" "Look at what your bad driving did to me!" As I was putting my bitching to a rest, I look up at him and see agiant beetle on his lower lip. I froze and tried frantically to tell him there was a big black horned beetle on his mouth but I was only able to utter out, "Dad! Fuck! Shit!" My mom then told him, "Lee! There's a bug on your face (in Thai)!" I woke up right after feeling regretful and guilty.

UPPER DIVISION ELECTIVES - Two nights ago I had one of those really, really real (in reference to Method Man's "Bring the Pain") dreams where I was still in school. I only remember hating life for all the classes I still needed to take in order to graduate, and it made me feel like a defeated piece of shit. I went to sleep reading "Into the Wild," so maybe I was reminded of one of my most challenging times in life (working retail to pay for tuition, helping my girlfriend go through her father's failing fight against cancer, tackling my curriculum, quitting my pack and a half day smoking habit). I woke up relieved, but it took a few minutes to convince myself that it really was only a dream and that I was actually in Kiev. Even now as I write this I'm a little skeptical of my success.

DAMNIT MOM - Last night I had a dream that my family and I were driving down the road, en route to somewhere in our white Lexus RX330 (the nicest car we have is a '96 red Toyota Corolla). For some reason, my dad surrendered the steering wheel to my panicky, bad-Asian driver-stereotype-perpetuating mom. Despite giving her clear directions, she still managed to miss an obvious turn. We went at it as I imposed my self-righteousness and she attributed her oversight to her lack of sight. I woke up pissed off at her and then was quickly reduced to tears. I miss my parents, and called them (for the second time since I left) to hear that my mom caught a bad case of the flu. They just don't listen to me. Many years ago, my dad had a heart attack; and shortly after I learned about being healthy and enrolled in nutrition classes at my college to try to learn how I can help keep my family -- in good health and on this planet for as long as possible. Shit though, they don't listen. And all I can do is worry.