So it was time for me to leave Kiev. The city has lost its charm and I'm now convinced that I can't Ukrainian women to like me, no matter how hard I thrust my pelvis at the discotech. So far, it's been two citeis and I've come to meet a bunch of good people along the way, but again I find myself thirsty for adventure after turning into a Coucho Potato Marco Polo from watching all three Discovery Channels -- I now know how crayons are made, that there was a big ass bridge that got built in the south of France, and that death still can't be avoided if you were to jump up at the last second as an elevator plummets. I did manage to get some more palatable food, but shit isn't really that much worse than diarrhea, right? Though I've had enough of Kiev, I definitely haven't had enough of teh Kiev crew. I've given Mike my 85% word (somewhere between a mumble and a thunderous roar) that I'll be joining him, Cam, Patraick and (maybe) Lewis on an Egyptian extravaganza in late April. It's out of my budget but I've always wanted the chance to see some bonafide camel toes and real mustaches. Besides, right now I'm in travel mode, in Egypt I'll be in vacation mode and with them all aligned it's going to be bananas. I'mma try to get Pat to fly in from Amsterdam as well. But till then I've go so much other shit to do, shit to see, shits to take so I'm not really thinking about it. I love Mike and it was surprisingly sad to part ways with him and his crew. It was really easy, here in Kiev, and I bet the servers would crash if he and I were to ever take a compatiability test on Match.com. Error: Page cannot be found.
Oh yeah, I also hooked it up with my first couchsurfing experience. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Spent last night in the outskirts of Kiev with a Ukrainian couple, a Brit and a French couple from Poland. I'm going to hit up Nik in Cambridge for my return flight so that he can redeem his country for my claims of unaffordable fish n chips and curry. And as for the Frenchies, I'm atually on the same train as them right now. We're in different cars, but we're going to get together for coffee upon arrival. I might also stay with them should my adventure take me to Poland.
Till then, let's form a prayer circle and get me a venue that doesn't play music that'll make me feel like I'm in a Forever 21 dressing room. Hip Hop forever! Forever, eva? Forever, eva?
......(5:26 AM) 8 hour trip = 3 hours sleeping, 1 hour thinking, 4 hours tustling. I'm about to arrive in Lviv and I just wanted to share some of life's knowledge that I've accumulated from this train ride.
1. It's impossible to look tough while you're sleeping - The cat across from me was trying to play it all schmoove and macho the entire time -- listening loudly to house through his cell phone (with MP3 capability), answering his calls and speaking with the fewest words possible with his cell phone (hands-free operation) and then making it clear to everyone that he was also streaming some kind of mixed martial arts videos on his cell phone. I need to get me that cell phone. Anyway, he even ordered his drink with making any eye contact and handed over his money by scissoring the cash with two fingers and looking away. An hour later, he was asleep and had the gayest smile on his chest. He's awake now and he's looking tougher than leather.
2. There are few viable options when dealing with the heat - The train was sizzling and thus made it a difficult environment for me to sleep in; I'm still not sure if I was sleeping or if I just fainted. I've learned that the best way to deal with it is to: give every orifice of your body as much ventilation as possible, expose your underside and have them point towards the sky (hands, feet, arms, pull your shirt up to expose your belly button) and keep your skin in contact with non-porous surfaces as little as possible.
Welcome to Lviv!
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