Egveniy explaining to us the right/wrong ways to drink vodka; in which there is really no wrong way to drink vodka.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Lviv Restaurant
Nice decor and ambiance in this little underground restaurant.
Something about hidden things just makes it that much more exclusive. Very nice, classy joint where I grubbed, had a few beers, and walked away with a $10 bill.
Something about hidden things just makes it that much more exclusive. Very nice, classy joint where I grubbed, had a few beers, and walked away with a $10 bill.
Lviv Restaurant Menu
I always appreciate design and refinement so I just wanted to call out this awesome menu at this restaurant in Lviv. The menu has famous Ukrainians embossed on brass tiles. Just something aesthetically pleasing. I swear, I'm not geigh.
Skate or Die
Here's an action shot of some Ukrainian folks we met and spent the evening with.
They were nice and fun.
It isn't so much what I say about their personalities; it's more so what I don't say about their looks.
Good thing I'm far away and you're too busy missing me to spend your time resenting me.
They were nice and fun.
It isn't so much what I say about their personalities; it's more so what I don't say about their looks.
Good thing I'm far away and you're too busy missing me to spend your time resenting me.
Enjoying a Beer in Lviv
I did this just so I can be the oblivious American tourist:
"Dude, for real, you can fucking just drink out on the streets like no big deal. And this beer cost me like $.60 and shit."
If my hood homies knew they'd probably be there in a second.
"Dude, for real, you can fucking just drink out on the streets like no big deal. And this beer cost me like $.60 and shit."
If my hood homies knew they'd probably be there in a second.
First Impressions of Lviv
Arrived just as the sun was rising and I was taken aback by the city's charm and beauty. Nothing like Kiev.
Frenchy Couple
Met this dope French couple (from Poland) while couchsurfing and ended up taking the same train together to Lviv. Here we are the morning after; parting ways..probably for good.
Though if I do end up in Poland, I'm definitely going to hit them up for shelter.
Though if I do end up in Poland, I'm definitely going to hit them up for shelter.
Train Bunk
So, this is how the train rides work. You sit there for 30 minutes, try to fall asleep for 5 hours, sleep for 2 hours, and hate yourself for not flying for half an hour. Then you realize you're broke and you're like:
"It's not really that bad. You just kind of tussle and then, next thing you know, you're there."
"It's not really that bad. You just kind of tussle and then, next thing you know, you're there."
Couchsurfing Kiev
The sweet couple that hosted me on my last night in Kiev. Fucking bad ass night and I truly recommend couchsurfing to anyone.
Kiev Shelter
This is the bed that I called home for two weeks. There was a very nice draft that provided for ventilation throughout the night.
See, I have this thing where I have too much circulation -- therefore my hands get hot like I've been typing on a laptop for hours so I always need ventilation or acupuncture to help.
See, I have this thing where I have too much circulation -- therefore my hands get hot like I've been typing on a laptop for hours so I always need ventilation or acupuncture to help.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
FEBRUARY 25, 2008 - GOD FUCKING DAMN ME
So I happend to ride in the same car as a dozen or so catholic university students and handful of Ruskies. Last night the whole car was awaken to the sounds of a couple having sex right next to me wiht the sheets draped over their bunks like a privacy curtain). Kind of funny, right? The preist was young and fresh looking -- sitting on the bench, surrounded by the typical ugly congregates vying for his attention. I watched him for a while -- as he utilized the mighty hand of god to mislead another impressionable bunch towards savlvation, while placing his own mighty hands upon the same desolate thighs of his admirers. I watched him, he watched me, swilling my beer, judging me and feeling a bit of sorrow for my own sin-saturated fate.
They say, "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist."
I say, "The greatest trick god ever played was convincing the world he did."
They say, "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist."
I say, "The greatest trick god ever played was convincing the world he did."
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
FEBRUARY 24, 2008 - LEAVING LVIV
On my last night in Lviv, I had 5 different dreams in between pee breaks. And the dreams seemed to appear more real by the minute. In all of them, I found myself back home, under a multitude of different predicaments: Being pissed off at my mom due to a lifetime of preferential treatment towards my brother, myself smoking a bowl of Cali Green while watching a documentary with Pat (for future reference...Pat = Amsterdam, Patrick = Crazy German), drinking 40s and talking about hip hop with Roy and the homies out in the streets, even with a past love interest pleaing to get back with me...and in every one of those I'd think, "Holy shit! How did I get here? Wait, I have to catch a train to Odessa. Did I buy a plane ticket to Lviv? Should I just go straight to Istanbul? Fuck!!" I'd wake up and be relieved that it was just a dream, but even if it wasn't I woudlnt' have regretted my decision to return home and miss out on the rest of my adventure (more so, I would've have regretted the cowardice of the decision). But, fuck; they felt so real -- as if somewhere between my stages of sleep, my soul would excavate my body, traverse the continent of Europe, and reconnect with the familiarity that I miss, and then return Donnie-Darko style to remind me that I've got to press on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm having the time of my life. I'm justin between swings of the vine, you know? Arms outstreteche, I have to release my grip and trust that I'll have a place to land and that I've left enough of an impression to be well-received upon my return. But for real though, I miss home. I miss surfing (but I hear it's been rainy and big, so fuck that shit!). Really though, I miss edge and independent music. I'm a social creature and my identity depends heavily on external factors and my environment. In LA, I am king (straight up). Even in other cities like New York, San Francisco or Chicago I know that'd only be a matter of time till I know what's up with the city and the city to know what's up with me. However, here, in Eastern Europe where pop music and Dolce & Gabbana happens to make polyester filled jackets (with elastic waistbands) I can't really see myself as nothing more than an outsider looking in. What I mean is that being different has never been more natural; nor unavoidable.
Don't get me wrong, I'm having the time of my life. I'm justin between swings of the vine, you know? Arms outstreteche, I have to release my grip and trust that I'll have a place to land and that I've left enough of an impression to be well-received upon my return. But for real though, I miss home. I miss surfing (but I hear it's been rainy and big, so fuck that shit!). Really though, I miss edge and independent music. I'm a social creature and my identity depends heavily on external factors and my environment. In LA, I am king (straight up). Even in other cities like New York, San Francisco or Chicago I know that'd only be a matter of time till I know what's up with the city and the city to know what's up with me. However, here, in Eastern Europe where pop music and Dolce & Gabbana happens to make polyester filled jackets (with elastic waistbands) I can't really see myself as nothing more than an outsider looking in. What I mean is that being different has never been more natural; nor unavoidable.
CITY POWER RANKING - LVIV (UKRAINE)
So now that I've got a taste of the city, here is its ranking:
LVIV 7.5/10
Liveability: 9.0/10.0
The city is old with beautiful architecture. I'd walk down the street towards a beautiful cathedral, then turn around, and be like, "oh shit!" and head in that direction. The rent is definitely affordable if you make a western salary and the city has more of a European feel than a Soviet feel. The food is better, but there is still no spinach to be found. No matter its beauty, human crafted aesthetics can never compare to the beauty in the way that soil erosion, rock cycles, and water sculpts the Pacific coastline. Lviv is a very romantic city -- dimly lit coffee shops provide many places to max out and lounge, but a good cup is still impossible to find. However, in narrow cobblestone streets, tunnel-lit alleys and rustic cafes, you can definitely find inspiration. The food is definitely affordable -- you can get a meat-filled pastry from the street stands for $.50 or a pretty decent meal for no more than $8 (sit down and all).
Nightlife: 7.0/10
Discotechs aren't in abundance but there are a ton of other options. In one night, we went to an improv show (by the way, Ukrainian humor really is not advanced and just plain silly, in the worst conceiveable way, I fucking hate it, they're fucking lame when it comes to comedy, they make Koreans seem like Chris Rock), ice skating, a discotech (that combines an internet cafe, a danceclub, lounge, and downstairs lounge, and hip hop room in one place...lots of real estate), and a nice dinner. We actually tried to get into an underground private bar for nationalists -- I'm talking password to get in, no sign, business card says "somewhere near the center" with no address posted, and the bouncer is an old Ruskie outfitted in military garb and holding a fucking machine gun; thankfully they were at capacity because I was afraid they'd force me to sing the Ukrainian national anthem...with my anus. But as for singing and all things music related, I've come to the conclusion that I can't spend too much time in a place without any soul. Motherfuckers at the disco went bananas when Bon Jovi (It's My Life) came on, then came C+C Music Factory, and some other pop shit and that's when I lost all hope that a Ukrainian will ever be on the forefront of good music. Still, I'd live here for a year.
Culture: 7.0/10.0
Coffee shops abound, nice street art/grafitti scene, inspiration is everywhere (Lonely Planet says the city will turn anyone into a photographer or writer, which is very true) and there is an art community presence.
People: 4.7/10
I found the people here to actually be friendlier and more open to foreigners. I was able to seek and find help to get around, find taxis, and etc. I think it's really just because it's a smaller town vs. a metropolis because the people are still very stoic and punchable. I gave it such a low rating because there is a strong presence of anti-semitism -- swastikas painted on the walls, old men gathering in the center to bitch and moan and talk about communism and nationalism while vendors there peddle off Ukrainian insignia (flags, buttons, shirts with the map on it, underwear with the map on it, commie-naise mayo). But fortunately, those old motherfuckers will die off soon and hopefully the new generation will rebel against such negative groupthink.
Funny thing happened to me yesterday. An old man with a Helly Hanson bubblegoose was walking by, saw me (and Patrick), stopped in his tracks, pivoted right towards me, and stared at me -- about 2 feet away from me, with striking curiosity. This guy was around 40 years old and had stalagmites for upper teeth and just had this plain, fucking stupid look on his face as if I was Elvis riding a unicorn. So what did I do? I stared right back at him with the same stupid look and laughed. His inquisitive eyes seem to have asked me, "What are you?" My snarling stare probably answered to him, "I am the New World. Motherfucker, I am globalization."
PROS
Old European romance. Inspiring coffee shops. Alleys you can happily get lost in.
CONS
Anti-semites! I don't care if I'm not Jewish; that just shows a lack of understanding and a train of thought that manages to persist throughout the generations. The other thing I would say is that there is absolutely no edge to the city; it is physically impossible to cut butter here.
LVIV 7.5/10
Liveability: 9.0/10.0
The city is old with beautiful architecture. I'd walk down the street towards a beautiful cathedral, then turn around, and be like, "oh shit!" and head in that direction. The rent is definitely affordable if you make a western salary and the city has more of a European feel than a Soviet feel. The food is better, but there is still no spinach to be found. No matter its beauty, human crafted aesthetics can never compare to the beauty in the way that soil erosion, rock cycles, and water sculpts the Pacific coastline. Lviv is a very romantic city -- dimly lit coffee shops provide many places to max out and lounge, but a good cup is still impossible to find. However, in narrow cobblestone streets, tunnel-lit alleys and rustic cafes, you can definitely find inspiration. The food is definitely affordable -- you can get a meat-filled pastry from the street stands for $.50 or a pretty decent meal for no more than $8 (sit down and all).
Nightlife: 7.0/10
Discotechs aren't in abundance but there are a ton of other options. In one night, we went to an improv show (by the way, Ukrainian humor really is not advanced and just plain silly, in the worst conceiveable way, I fucking hate it, they're fucking lame when it comes to comedy, they make Koreans seem like Chris Rock), ice skating, a discotech (that combines an internet cafe, a danceclub, lounge, and downstairs lounge, and hip hop room in one place...lots of real estate), and a nice dinner. We actually tried to get into an underground private bar for nationalists -- I'm talking password to get in, no sign, business card says "somewhere near the center" with no address posted, and the bouncer is an old Ruskie outfitted in military garb and holding a fucking machine gun; thankfully they were at capacity because I was afraid they'd force me to sing the Ukrainian national anthem...with my anus. But as for singing and all things music related, I've come to the conclusion that I can't spend too much time in a place without any soul. Motherfuckers at the disco went bananas when Bon Jovi (It's My Life) came on, then came C+C Music Factory, and some other pop shit and that's when I lost all hope that a Ukrainian will ever be on the forefront of good music. Still, I'd live here for a year.
Culture: 7.0/10.0
Coffee shops abound, nice street art/grafitti scene, inspiration is everywhere (Lonely Planet says the city will turn anyone into a photographer or writer, which is very true) and there is an art community presence.
People: 4.7/10
I found the people here to actually be friendlier and more open to foreigners. I was able to seek and find help to get around, find taxis, and etc. I think it's really just because it's a smaller town vs. a metropolis because the people are still very stoic and punchable. I gave it such a low rating because there is a strong presence of anti-semitism -- swastikas painted on the walls, old men gathering in the center to bitch and moan and talk about communism and nationalism while vendors there peddle off Ukrainian insignia (flags, buttons, shirts with the map on it, underwear with the map on it, commie-naise mayo). But fortunately, those old motherfuckers will die off soon and hopefully the new generation will rebel against such negative groupthink.
Funny thing happened to me yesterday. An old man with a Helly Hanson bubblegoose was walking by, saw me (and Patrick), stopped in his tracks, pivoted right towards me, and stared at me -- about 2 feet away from me, with striking curiosity. This guy was around 40 years old and had stalagmites for upper teeth and just had this plain, fucking stupid look on his face as if I was Elvis riding a unicorn. So what did I do? I stared right back at him with the same stupid look and laughed. His inquisitive eyes seem to have asked me, "What are you?" My snarling stare probably answered to him, "I am the New World. Motherfucker, I am globalization."
PROS
Old European romance. Inspiring coffee shops. Alleys you can happily get lost in.
CONS
Anti-semites! I don't care if I'm not Jewish; that just shows a lack of understanding and a train of thought that manages to persist throughout the generations. The other thing I would say is that there is absolutely no edge to the city; it is physically impossible to cut butter here.
Friday, February 22, 2008
FEBRUARY 21, 2008 - NO. 91 TRAIN EN ROUTE TO LVIV
So it was time for me to leave Kiev. The city has lost its charm and I'm now convinced that I can't Ukrainian women to like me, no matter how hard I thrust my pelvis at the discotech. So far, it's been two citeis and I've come to meet a bunch of good people along the way, but again I find myself thirsty for adventure after turning into a Coucho Potato Marco Polo from watching all three Discovery Channels -- I now know how crayons are made, that there was a big ass bridge that got built in the south of France, and that death still can't be avoided if you were to jump up at the last second as an elevator plummets. I did manage to get some more palatable food, but shit isn't really that much worse than diarrhea, right? Though I've had enough of Kiev, I definitely haven't had enough of teh Kiev crew. I've given Mike my 85% word (somewhere between a mumble and a thunderous roar) that I'll be joining him, Cam, Patraick and (maybe) Lewis on an Egyptian extravaganza in late April. It's out of my budget but I've always wanted the chance to see some bonafide camel toes and real mustaches. Besides, right now I'm in travel mode, in Egypt I'll be in vacation mode and with them all aligned it's going to be bananas. I'mma try to get Pat to fly in from Amsterdam as well. But till then I've go so much other shit to do, shit to see, shits to take so I'm not really thinking about it. I love Mike and it was surprisingly sad to part ways with him and his crew. It was really easy, here in Kiev, and I bet the servers would crash if he and I were to ever take a compatiability test on Match.com. Error: Page cannot be found.
Oh yeah, I also hooked it up with my first couchsurfing experience. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Spent last night in the outskirts of Kiev with a Ukrainian couple, a Brit and a French couple from Poland. I'm going to hit up Nik in Cambridge for my return flight so that he can redeem his country for my claims of unaffordable fish n chips and curry. And as for the Frenchies, I'm atually on the same train as them right now. We're in different cars, but we're going to get together for coffee upon arrival. I might also stay with them should my adventure take me to Poland.
Till then, let's form a prayer circle and get me a venue that doesn't play music that'll make me feel like I'm in a Forever 21 dressing room. Hip Hop forever! Forever, eva? Forever, eva?
......(5:26 AM) 8 hour trip = 3 hours sleeping, 1 hour thinking, 4 hours tustling. I'm about to arrive in Lviv and I just wanted to share some of life's knowledge that I've accumulated from this train ride.
1. It's impossible to look tough while you're sleeping - The cat across from me was trying to play it all schmoove and macho the entire time -- listening loudly to house through his cell phone (with MP3 capability), answering his calls and speaking with the fewest words possible with his cell phone (hands-free operation) and then making it clear to everyone that he was also streaming some kind of mixed martial arts videos on his cell phone. I need to get me that cell phone. Anyway, he even ordered his drink with making any eye contact and handed over his money by scissoring the cash with two fingers and looking away. An hour later, he was asleep and had the gayest smile on his chest. He's awake now and he's looking tougher than leather.
2. There are few viable options when dealing with the heat - The train was sizzling and thus made it a difficult environment for me to sleep in; I'm still not sure if I was sleeping or if I just fainted. I've learned that the best way to deal with it is to: give every orifice of your body as much ventilation as possible, expose your underside and have them point towards the sky (hands, feet, arms, pull your shirt up to expose your belly button) and keep your skin in contact with non-porous surfaces as little as possible.
Welcome to Lviv!
Oh yeah, I also hooked it up with my first couchsurfing experience. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Spent last night in the outskirts of Kiev with a Ukrainian couple, a Brit and a French couple from Poland. I'm going to hit up Nik in Cambridge for my return flight so that he can redeem his country for my claims of unaffordable fish n chips and curry. And as for the Frenchies, I'm atually on the same train as them right now. We're in different cars, but we're going to get together for coffee upon arrival. I might also stay with them should my adventure take me to Poland.
Till then, let's form a prayer circle and get me a venue that doesn't play music that'll make me feel like I'm in a Forever 21 dressing room. Hip Hop forever! Forever, eva? Forever, eva?
......(5:26 AM) 8 hour trip = 3 hours sleeping, 1 hour thinking, 4 hours tustling. I'm about to arrive in Lviv and I just wanted to share some of life's knowledge that I've accumulated from this train ride.
1. It's impossible to look tough while you're sleeping - The cat across from me was trying to play it all schmoove and macho the entire time -- listening loudly to house through his cell phone (with MP3 capability), answering his calls and speaking with the fewest words possible with his cell phone (hands-free operation) and then making it clear to everyone that he was also streaming some kind of mixed martial arts videos on his cell phone. I need to get me that cell phone. Anyway, he even ordered his drink with making any eye contact and handed over his money by scissoring the cash with two fingers and looking away. An hour later, he was asleep and had the gayest smile on his chest. He's awake now and he's looking tougher than leather.
2. There are few viable options when dealing with the heat - The train was sizzling and thus made it a difficult environment for me to sleep in; I'm still not sure if I was sleeping or if I just fainted. I've learned that the best way to deal with it is to: give every orifice of your body as much ventilation as possible, expose your underside and have them point towards the sky (hands, feet, arms, pull your shirt up to expose your belly button) and keep your skin in contact with non-porous surfaces as little as possible.
Welcome to Lviv!
UKRAINIAN FOOD TALK
"I don't look at food as something enjoyable anymore. It's now just a means of survival."
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
CITY POWER RANKINGS
So since I've been to a few major cities now, I thought it'd be helpful to rank them. Now, this is all according to my version of truth, so please let me know if you agree/disagree. I'm rating each city based on its liveability, nightlife, culture and people. And remember, I'm speaking in relative terms. Here goes:\
LOS ANGELES: 9.2/10
Liveability: 8/10
Let's just say this, I was able to live near the beach with a $21k base salary and I cooked maybe 10 times, ever. Transportation will cost you around $600 (car, insurance, gas). But you can eat a decent meal for $6.
Nightlife: 7/10
Relaxed dress codes, availabilty to ride a beach cruiser to/from bars. Los Angeles is a haven for underground hip hop. The bars are lame and there isn't a jukebox, anywhere in the city, that truly impresses me. The whole, standing around and drinking beers thing at restaurants that double as bars (Baja Cantina, Beechwood) is very lame. The 2:00 AM last call and lack of public transport limits your ability to take the party "to the max."
Culture: 8/10
Best graffiti artists in the world are from Los Angeles. Also, the best artists always come from or go through this city. There is a still healthy dose of crime (resulting in "edge") despite the exponential rise of gentrification. Mark Ryden and Shepard Fairey are from here. Ethnic food is everywhere -- sushi and Mexican being top notch outside of their native countries. However, as a result of the relaxed climate and slow pace, people here dress like shit and are fashionably conservative.
PROS: Biggie said it best, "Going back to Cali, strictly for the women, weather and the weed." Los Angeles has the best landscape in the world -- within a few hours you can be in the ocean, desert, mountains, or wetlands. It's real easy to live here. Neighboring Long Beach is the coolest suburb in the country. Dark California ales and wines are always welcome in my tummy. And the produce is insane-o!
NEW YORK: 9.5/10
Liveability: 7/10
You'll have a roommate until you're 40 unless you want to live off the island (or in Harlem). The public transportation is killer and the taxis are reasonable if you split the fare. Weather in New York sucks. For those of you who like seasons, please allow me to share a joke with you: "People come to L.A. and say, 'L.A's nice, but I could never live here, I like seasons too much.' Yeah, I like seasons too, that's why I live here. Los Angeles gets rid of the shitty ones." It'll cost you $2.50 to wash a load of laundry, but everything you need can be found within a one block radius. Central Park, as nice as it is, isn't really a true "escape" into nature. Healthy food is only as available as your wallet allows it to be.
Nightlife: 9.5/10
There's always something for everyone here; whether it be drum circles, summer rooftop movie screenings, parkour, posh clubs, or Chinese restaurants that play underground hip hop (Hip Hop Chow in East Village). The 4:00 AM last call makes every night a night to "aww shit, I don't remember." I subtracted .5 because the drinks are expensive (however, you can find places with cheap booze, and lots of bartenders will treat you to your fourth drink because they understand how expensive it is out here). It also didn't get a perfect 10 because house parties seem reserved for the rich and/or connected.
Culture: 10/10
Indie music and hip hop mecca where Brooklyn alone, claims fame to TV on the Radio, Mos Def, Kweli, Biggie, etc. Jonathan Levine gallery houses every worthwhile low brow, Juxtapoz artist and there's always Wooster Street for groundbreaking street art. Ethnic food abounds, however, the dominance of Pizza on your tastebuds doesn't make up for the lack of decent Mexican food. Que lastima'! But dude, Vice Magazine is based here. Nuff' said.
People: 8/10
People here are driven, honest and direct. They also tend to be more well read, cultured and traveled. I docked off 2 points for the East Village/Williamsburg lamesters. Here, we have high school nerds that try to create a second chance to redeem themselves and become cool and free of mainstream influence by rejecting social norms, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and wearing American Apparel. You're not fooling anyone, and your pretentious attempt of not giving a fuck only shows your compliancy. I'm all about progressiveness, but woman, dress like a woman; men, take off them denim cut offs. But god, I hate them yuppies too. Either way, there is plenty o' middle ground; and if I were to ever find a place where I'd belong, New York would be it.
PROS
Coolest city in the world. The same person will tell you, "If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere" and "Everyone has to live in New York city at least once in their life" in the same breath and have both statements ring true. Find me the right group of people, and I can find myself living here for life.
CONS
The weather, cramping, pressure and cut throat environment can take a toll on you. Everyone comes to the city with an agenda.
CHICAGO: 7/10
Liveability: 9.5/10
Affordable, good public transportation (with owning a car being a feasible option), work-life balance, and family oriented...too bad it's boring. House parties and outdoor festivals amke for relaxation. Climate is diarrhea to New York's dookie. Healthy food here means using vegetable oil to deep fry.
Nightlife: 7/10
Late night last call, but its' a big beer swilling city -- requiring an increased consumption of beer to fool your eyes into thinking the protruding bellies found in the women here are cute and make them "soft to the touch," or enough to make your own belly protrude and join their ranks (rank being heavyweight). Did I mention how going out to a bar where people stand around, drink beers and stare at Sportscenter highlights was gay?
Culture: 5.8/10
Wilco's cool, but are they really? Hip Hop scene here is solid, refined and grown up, but where is the next generation of talent? Common, Kanye West, Alkaline Trio and Kill Hannah are fine, but who knows whose next. Chicago appears to have gotten stuck in the last millenium. The Abercrombie and Fitch, and Urban Outfitters midwestern idea of style just makes it that much more apparent that you're in Middle America. The city has no edge and should officially change its name to Chicadull.
People: 8.5/10
The first (and only) time I went to Chicago, I was greeted by four people just walking down the street; and that left me paranoid and flabbergasted. Being a stranger in a room full of strangers, Chicagoans would be the most likely to warm up and try to get to know you -- and you're more likely to find a woman of substance, here in this city. I'd describe the people the same as I'd describe the three major cities (Los Angeles is the highschool sweethear that you'll always love, Chicago is the girl you'd settle down with and marry, New York is the city you'll leave your wife for).
PROS
Very clean, safe and stable. Should you ever wan tot settle down, raise a family with a solid set of values, and have a good work/life balance, Chicago is the city for you!
CONS
You'll have to trade in anything cool and edgy for endless mugs of beer, a year round winter layer of blubber and staying home and watching "Lost." A constant state of cruise control makes the life journey more manageable, but who the hell wants that?
LIEV (UKRAINE): 7.6/10
Liveability: 8/10
Surprisingl quite pricey considering its Eastern European location (and lack of it being a real destination). However, the metro (first underground railway in the world) is built with true Soviet pride -- making it a sight to see and costing only $.50 per ride. Food here is absolutely horrible (the most successful businessman here must be in mayonnaise sales); however, the vodka pours cheap at $3 for a very good bottle. Wine is mediocre at best, but remains drinkable (the $3-5 pricetag makes it even more easier to swallow). In the city's defense, the food is affordable and the fruits are surprisingly sweet; the vegetables suck and spinach has yet to make its present felt in Kiev. I'm thinking of smuggling it in here just to introduce it to the country so I can name this dark, leafy green. I'm thinking "Chocolate Bob."
Nightlife: 8.5/10
I have yet to leave a discotech before 3:30 AM and the women here are incredible looking -- enduring the cold and subjecting their nipples to becoming frostbitten raisins to look as sexy as possible. A Ukrainian woman can go to a club, dance in front of the mirror for hours, not talk to anyone and still consider the night to be a success if they went homne feeling sexy. the drinks can be expensive ($100 for a drink, $5 for a Redbull) but if you dumb it down you can find a deal ($2-3 shots of vodka, $1-3 for a liter of beer). Also, bartendars have a lot of flair in their skills and take pride in their pours; I not only got a perfect Guinness pour, I also got a "shamrock" on top of the head. However, House music becomes a real head fuck after 90 minutes.
Culture: 2/10
No diversity and the art sucks. However, the ancient architecture and old monstaries are quite the marvel; I'm only left wondering where it all went wrong.
People: 2/10
I know I speak highly of the women but this is still a closed-society and xenophobes are found everywhere. Westerners are few and far between (good thing in my book) and it seems to be the way they want it. I'm speaking in general terms, of course, but is seems like they are very passionate in their youth, but then they get married, the fingers fatten and the women completely let themselves go as their cheating husbands treat them like shit. Yo, I'm just saying...that's what I've observed. Also, the materialism here is insane. The average Ukrainian salary is about $200-400 per month, but they still have pricey as clothes here that'll make Paris Hilton look more like Howard Johnson.
PROS
With Ukraine recently being accepted into the WTO, it's a very exciting time to be here. It's easy to get drunk here, you can hitchhike, and the women here are plentiful.
CONS
Xenophobia. And for real, why can't you just fucking smile once in a while? And when I do, it's not because I'm trying to get something out of you. And House music may be a house, but it'll never be my home. Simply put, I cannot live in a place that doesn't have any soul. Word up!
Stay tuned for more.....
LOS ANGELES: 9.2/10
Liveability: 8/10
Let's just say this, I was able to live near the beach with a $21k base salary and I cooked maybe 10 times, ever. Transportation will cost you around $600 (car, insurance, gas). But you can eat a decent meal for $6.
Nightlife: 7/10
Relaxed dress codes, availabilty to ride a beach cruiser to/from bars. Los Angeles is a haven for underground hip hop. The bars are lame and there isn't a jukebox, anywhere in the city, that truly impresses me. The whole, standing around and drinking beers thing at restaurants that double as bars (Baja Cantina, Beechwood) is very lame. The 2:00 AM last call and lack of public transport limits your ability to take the party "to the max."
Culture: 8/10
Best graffiti artists in the world are from Los Angeles. Also, the best artists always come from or go through this city. There is a still healthy dose of crime (resulting in "edge") despite the exponential rise of gentrification. Mark Ryden and Shepard Fairey are from here. Ethnic food is everywhere -- sushi and Mexican being top notch outside of their native countries. However, as a result of the relaxed climate and slow pace, people here dress like shit and are fashionably conservative.
PROS: Biggie said it best, "Going back to Cali, strictly for the women, weather and the weed." Los Angeles has the best landscape in the world -- within a few hours you can be in the ocean, desert, mountains, or wetlands. It's real easy to live here. Neighboring Long Beach is the coolest suburb in the country. Dark California ales and wines are always welcome in my tummy. And the produce is insane-o!
NEW YORK: 9.5/10
Liveability: 7/10
You'll have a roommate until you're 40 unless you want to live off the island (or in Harlem). The public transportation is killer and the taxis are reasonable if you split the fare. Weather in New York sucks. For those of you who like seasons, please allow me to share a joke with you: "People come to L.A. and say, 'L.A's nice, but I could never live here, I like seasons too much.' Yeah, I like seasons too, that's why I live here. Los Angeles gets rid of the shitty ones." It'll cost you $2.50 to wash a load of laundry, but everything you need can be found within a one block radius. Central Park, as nice as it is, isn't really a true "escape" into nature. Healthy food is only as available as your wallet allows it to be.
Nightlife: 9.5/10
There's always something for everyone here; whether it be drum circles, summer rooftop movie screenings, parkour, posh clubs, or Chinese restaurants that play underground hip hop (Hip Hop Chow in East Village). The 4:00 AM last call makes every night a night to "aww shit, I don't remember." I subtracted .5 because the drinks are expensive (however, you can find places with cheap booze, and lots of bartenders will treat you to your fourth drink because they understand how expensive it is out here). It also didn't get a perfect 10 because house parties seem reserved for the rich and/or connected.
Culture: 10/10
Indie music and hip hop mecca where Brooklyn alone, claims fame to TV on the Radio, Mos Def, Kweli, Biggie, etc. Jonathan Levine gallery houses every worthwhile low brow, Juxtapoz artist and there's always Wooster Street for groundbreaking street art. Ethnic food abounds, however, the dominance of Pizza on your tastebuds doesn't make up for the lack of decent Mexican food. Que lastima'! But dude, Vice Magazine is based here. Nuff' said.
People: 8/10
People here are driven, honest and direct. They also tend to be more well read, cultured and traveled. I docked off 2 points for the East Village/Williamsburg lamesters. Here, we have high school nerds that try to create a second chance to redeem themselves and become cool and free of mainstream influence by rejecting social norms, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and wearing American Apparel. You're not fooling anyone, and your pretentious attempt of not giving a fuck only shows your compliancy. I'm all about progressiveness, but woman, dress like a woman; men, take off them denim cut offs. But god, I hate them yuppies too. Either way, there is plenty o' middle ground; and if I were to ever find a place where I'd belong, New York would be it.
PROS
Coolest city in the world. The same person will tell you, "If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere" and "Everyone has to live in New York city at least once in their life" in the same breath and have both statements ring true. Find me the right group of people, and I can find myself living here for life.
CONS
The weather, cramping, pressure and cut throat environment can take a toll on you. Everyone comes to the city with an agenda.
CHICAGO: 7/10
Liveability: 9.5/10
Affordable, good public transportation (with owning a car being a feasible option), work-life balance, and family oriented...too bad it's boring. House parties and outdoor festivals amke for relaxation. Climate is diarrhea to New York's dookie. Healthy food here means using vegetable oil to deep fry.
Nightlife: 7/10
Late night last call, but its' a big beer swilling city -- requiring an increased consumption of beer to fool your eyes into thinking the protruding bellies found in the women here are cute and make them "soft to the touch," or enough to make your own belly protrude and join their ranks (rank being heavyweight). Did I mention how going out to a bar where people stand around, drink beers and stare at Sportscenter highlights was gay?
Culture: 5.8/10
Wilco's cool, but are they really? Hip Hop scene here is solid, refined and grown up, but where is the next generation of talent? Common, Kanye West, Alkaline Trio and Kill Hannah are fine, but who knows whose next. Chicago appears to have gotten stuck in the last millenium. The Abercrombie and Fitch, and Urban Outfitters midwestern idea of style just makes it that much more apparent that you're in Middle America. The city has no edge and should officially change its name to Chicadull.
People: 8.5/10
The first (and only) time I went to Chicago, I was greeted by four people just walking down the street; and that left me paranoid and flabbergasted. Being a stranger in a room full of strangers, Chicagoans would be the most likely to warm up and try to get to know you -- and you're more likely to find a woman of substance, here in this city. I'd describe the people the same as I'd describe the three major cities (Los Angeles is the highschool sweethear that you'll always love, Chicago is the girl you'd settle down with and marry, New York is the city you'll leave your wife for).
PROS
Very clean, safe and stable. Should you ever wan tot settle down, raise a family with a solid set of values, and have a good work/life balance, Chicago is the city for you!
CONS
You'll have to trade in anything cool and edgy for endless mugs of beer, a year round winter layer of blubber and staying home and watching "Lost." A constant state of cruise control makes the life journey more manageable, but who the hell wants that?
LIEV (UKRAINE): 7.6/10
Liveability: 8/10
Surprisingl quite pricey considering its Eastern European location (and lack of it being a real destination). However, the metro (first underground railway in the world) is built with true Soviet pride -- making it a sight to see and costing only $.50 per ride. Food here is absolutely horrible (the most successful businessman here must be in mayonnaise sales); however, the vodka pours cheap at $3 for a very good bottle. Wine is mediocre at best, but remains drinkable (the $3-5 pricetag makes it even more easier to swallow). In the city's defense, the food is affordable and the fruits are surprisingly sweet; the vegetables suck and spinach has yet to make its present felt in Kiev. I'm thinking of smuggling it in here just to introduce it to the country so I can name this dark, leafy green. I'm thinking "Chocolate Bob."
Nightlife: 8.5/10
I have yet to leave a discotech before 3:30 AM and the women here are incredible looking -- enduring the cold and subjecting their nipples to becoming frostbitten raisins to look as sexy as possible. A Ukrainian woman can go to a club, dance in front of the mirror for hours, not talk to anyone and still consider the night to be a success if they went homne feeling sexy. the drinks can be expensive ($100 for a drink, $5 for a Redbull) but if you dumb it down you can find a deal ($2-3 shots of vodka, $1-3 for a liter of beer). Also, bartendars have a lot of flair in their skills and take pride in their pours; I not only got a perfect Guinness pour, I also got a "shamrock" on top of the head. However, House music becomes a real head fuck after 90 minutes.
Culture: 2/10
No diversity and the art sucks. However, the ancient architecture and old monstaries are quite the marvel; I'm only left wondering where it all went wrong.
People: 2/10
I know I speak highly of the women but this is still a closed-society and xenophobes are found everywhere. Westerners are few and far between (good thing in my book) and it seems to be the way they want it. I'm speaking in general terms, of course, but is seems like they are very passionate in their youth, but then they get married, the fingers fatten and the women completely let themselves go as their cheating husbands treat them like shit. Yo, I'm just saying...that's what I've observed. Also, the materialism here is insane. The average Ukrainian salary is about $200-400 per month, but they still have pricey as clothes here that'll make Paris Hilton look more like Howard Johnson.
PROS
With Ukraine recently being accepted into the WTO, it's a very exciting time to be here. It's easy to get drunk here, you can hitchhike, and the women here are plentiful.
CONS
Xenophobia. And for real, why can't you just fucking smile once in a while? And when I do, it's not because I'm trying to get something out of you. And House music may be a house, but it'll never be my home. Simply put, I cannot live in a place that doesn't have any soul. Word up!
Stay tuned for more.....
CONVERSATION ABOUT AMERICAN WOMEN
Me (in reference to an American woman here in Kiev): Is she cute?
Him: She's American cute. Like, she has a cute face but she's 15 pounds heavier than she's supposed to be.
Me: Haha. For real, huh?
Him: It seems like all American women got together and made a pact: "Let's all comfortably gain 15 pounds together so that the men would have no other choice but to deal with it."
Him: She's American cute. Like, she has a cute face but she's 15 pounds heavier than she's supposed to be.
Me: Haha. For real, huh?
Him: It seems like all American women got together and made a pact: "Let's all comfortably gain 15 pounds together so that the men would have no other choice but to deal with it."
FEBRUARY 19, 2008 - DREAM LOG
I've been having some strange dreams since I've been away:
CHOCOLATE BOB - Upon my return I was talking about weed and how wasteful the spliff (that I smoked a few days ago) was. Rex, Roche, Roy and I were in Rex's living room. They packed a bowl of Cali weed and I underestimated it; snobbishly writing it off because it wasn't OG Kush. Shortly after, I found myself on my back, scissor kicking God and laughing hysterically. Rex, then, started to call me Chocolate Bob.
DAD HAS A BEETLE - My father was criving the family down a street (this dream occurred the same night I broke my toe) fast and wrecklessly. I was sitting shotgun and yelled for him to slow down as we bulleted towards a sharp left turn. We smash against a cinder block wall and the entire right side of my face gets smashed in. Car's ok, face is swollen but numb like I just came back from the dentist. I hold onto my cheek and start bitching out my pops: "What the hell were you thinking?" "Why didn't you slow down?" "Who do you think you are?" "Look at what your bad driving did to me!" As I was putting my bitching to a rest, I look up at him and see agiant beetle on his lower lip. I froze and tried frantically to tell him there was a big black horned beetle on his mouth but I was only able to utter out, "Dad! Fuck! Shit!" My mom then told him, "Lee! There's a bug on your face (in Thai)!" I woke up right after feeling regretful and guilty.
UPPER DIVISION ELECTIVES - Two nights ago I had one of those really, really real (in reference to Method Man's "Bring the Pain") dreams where I was still in school. I only remember hating life for all the classes I still needed to take in order to graduate, and it made me feel like a defeated piece of shit. I went to sleep reading "Into the Wild," so maybe I was reminded of one of my most challenging times in life (working retail to pay for tuition, helping my girlfriend go through her father's failing fight against cancer, tackling my curriculum, quitting my pack and a half day smoking habit). I woke up relieved, but it took a few minutes to convince myself that it really was only a dream and that I was actually in Kiev. Even now as I write this I'm a little skeptical of my success.
DAMNIT MOM - Last night I had a dream that my family and I were driving down the road, en route to somewhere in our white Lexus RX330 (the nicest car we have is a '96 red Toyota Corolla). For some reason, my dad surrendered the steering wheel to my panicky, bad-Asian driver-stereotype-perpetuating mom. Despite giving her clear directions, she still managed to miss an obvious turn. We went at it as I imposed my self-righteousness and she attributed her oversight to her lack of sight. I woke up pissed off at her and then was quickly reduced to tears. I miss my parents, and called them (for the second time since I left) to hear that my mom caught a bad case of the flu. They just don't listen to me. Many years ago, my dad had a heart attack; and shortly after I learned about being healthy and enrolled in nutrition classes at my college to try to learn how I can help keep my family -- in good health and on this planet for as long as possible. Shit though, they don't listen. And all I can do is worry.
CHOCOLATE BOB - Upon my return I was talking about weed and how wasteful the spliff (that I smoked a few days ago) was. Rex, Roche, Roy and I were in Rex's living room. They packed a bowl of Cali weed and I underestimated it; snobbishly writing it off because it wasn't OG Kush. Shortly after, I found myself on my back, scissor kicking God and laughing hysterically. Rex, then, started to call me Chocolate Bob.
DAD HAS A BEETLE - My father was criving the family down a street (this dream occurred the same night I broke my toe) fast and wrecklessly. I was sitting shotgun and yelled for him to slow down as we bulleted towards a sharp left turn. We smash against a cinder block wall and the entire right side of my face gets smashed in. Car's ok, face is swollen but numb like I just came back from the dentist. I hold onto my cheek and start bitching out my pops: "What the hell were you thinking?" "Why didn't you slow down?" "Who do you think you are?" "Look at what your bad driving did to me!" As I was putting my bitching to a rest, I look up at him and see agiant beetle on his lower lip. I froze and tried frantically to tell him there was a big black horned beetle on his mouth but I was only able to utter out, "Dad! Fuck! Shit!" My mom then told him, "Lee! There's a bug on your face (in Thai)!" I woke up right after feeling regretful and guilty.
UPPER DIVISION ELECTIVES - Two nights ago I had one of those really, really real (in reference to Method Man's "Bring the Pain") dreams where I was still in school. I only remember hating life for all the classes I still needed to take in order to graduate, and it made me feel like a defeated piece of shit. I went to sleep reading "Into the Wild," so maybe I was reminded of one of my most challenging times in life (working retail to pay for tuition, helping my girlfriend go through her father's failing fight against cancer, tackling my curriculum, quitting my pack and a half day smoking habit). I woke up relieved, but it took a few minutes to convince myself that it really was only a dream and that I was actually in Kiev. Even now as I write this I'm a little skeptical of my success.
DAMNIT MOM - Last night I had a dream that my family and I were driving down the road, en route to somewhere in our white Lexus RX330 (the nicest car we have is a '96 red Toyota Corolla). For some reason, my dad surrendered the steering wheel to my panicky, bad-Asian driver-stereotype-perpetuating mom. Despite giving her clear directions, she still managed to miss an obvious turn. We went at it as I imposed my self-righteousness and she attributed her oversight to her lack of sight. I woke up pissed off at her and then was quickly reduced to tears. I miss my parents, and called them (for the second time since I left) to hear that my mom caught a bad case of the flu. They just don't listen to me. Many years ago, my dad had a heart attack; and shortly after I learned about being healthy and enrolled in nutrition classes at my college to try to learn how I can help keep my family -- in good health and on this planet for as long as possible. Shit though, they don't listen. And all I can do is worry.
Monday, February 18, 2008
FEBRUARY 18, 2008 - UPDATED ITINERARY
What's up ya'll? First live update on my bloggy blog. Well, today was a bore; I went down to go buy some produce and watched Animal Planet and all three versions of The Discovery Channel all day long today because I can't fucking walk around without doing some sort of heavy panting. I saw old ladies pass me by and they just pissed me the hell off. My toenail is getting more movement but it's also turning from a Welch's grape jelly to an eggplant parmesan.
Well, looks like my travel plans are changing by the minute. I must say, that I am most grateful for the people I've met here in Kiev; specifically Mike for letting me stay here longer than expected, and for tolerating the toxic fumes that my dumpling processing anus is throwing at his toiletry. Not only have I met a bunch of dope people (that like to drink, fight and chase women as much as I do, albeit with actual success), I can also postpone couchsurfing for a few more weeks (I now have a hookup in Lviv and Odessa). So, here are my plans:
UKRAINE
Kiev - Staying here for a few more days as my toe heals (I wonder where I'll be when the nail rots off), Lviv, Odessa
TURKEY (should be dope because I'm taking a 2-3 day ferry boat ride from Odessa)
Istanbul
BULGARIA
Sofia - I plan on spending a decent chunk of time here. A girl that I'll be couchsurfing with is really into indie (and knows of all these concerts), into photography and will have a bunch of free time to show me around.
SERBIA
Belgrade - should be interesting to be there as Kosovo declares its independence (and Serbs are pissed the fuck off).
MONTENEGRO
Budvah
CROATIA
Dubrovnik, Zagreb
SLOVENIA
Ljubljana
(ITALY) - maybe
Tiest, Como, Botslana
AUSTRIA
Klagenfut, Vienna
SLOVAKIA
Pratislava
CZECH REPUBLIC
Prague, Maree Enbart, Kallawaty
GERMANY
Dresden, Berlin
There you have it! I'm sure that'll change also. That's life for you.
Well, looks like my travel plans are changing by the minute. I must say, that I am most grateful for the people I've met here in Kiev; specifically Mike for letting me stay here longer than expected, and for tolerating the toxic fumes that my dumpling processing anus is throwing at his toiletry. Not only have I met a bunch of dope people (that like to drink, fight and chase women as much as I do, albeit with actual success), I can also postpone couchsurfing for a few more weeks (I now have a hookup in Lviv and Odessa). So, here are my plans:
UKRAINE
Kiev - Staying here for a few more days as my toe heals (I wonder where I'll be when the nail rots off), Lviv, Odessa
TURKEY (should be dope because I'm taking a 2-3 day ferry boat ride from Odessa)
Istanbul
BULGARIA
Sofia - I plan on spending a decent chunk of time here. A girl that I'll be couchsurfing with is really into indie (and knows of all these concerts), into photography and will have a bunch of free time to show me around.
SERBIA
Belgrade - should be interesting to be there as Kosovo declares its independence (and Serbs are pissed the fuck off).
MONTENEGRO
Budvah
CROATIA
Dubrovnik, Zagreb
SLOVENIA
Ljubljana
(ITALY) - maybe
Tiest, Como, Botslana
AUSTRIA
Klagenfut, Vienna
SLOVAKIA
Pratislava
CZECH REPUBLIC
Prague, Maree Enbart, Kallawaty
GERMANY
Dresden, Berlin
There you have it! I'm sure that'll change also. That's life for you.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 - ROUND TWO. FIGHT!
I had the most amazing dinner (other than Korean BBQ for my birthday) last night. We went to this spot in the outskirts of Kiev. Rather than trying to get all descriptive about it, I'll just use bullet points (that's the adman in me):
- They greet you with a shot of vodka.
- You rent your own private room with a fireplace
- The food was just ok, but the steak fries were the best I've ever had.
- Bring your own booze.
- A Ukrainian folk band came in and performed a few songs for us.
- Strippers came into our room and handed out business cards.
- Cam brought his laptop and speakers and supplied the music.
- We broke a good amount of glasses and plates just because.
- A friend accidentally broke my big toe by stepping directly on it (while he managed a faceplant directly on the bench).
- Good company -- which is really fundamental to any good meal.
The rest of the night was kind of a blur; but I'll go on to say that we got rejected from two night clubs, ended up at a small bar where another fight spurred out with one of us and a Scottish guy (that was a scared little bitch that didn't do shit after he and this girl he was with started it) where there was pushing and shoving inside the bar, and we ended up drinking in another bar.
All I know is that last night I kept on saying, "I'm drunk (as fuck) and my toe still hurts." Today I woke up to a purple ass big toe (clearly broken) that is turning blacker by the minute. I also have a busted left knee and a big ol' bruise on my right thigh (the shape of California, the size of Rhode Island).
I think I need to spend a few more days in Kiev because I can't walk without singing that "mama say mama saw mama maku say" song in my head. I don't like house music much, but my toe is throbbing at 120 beats per minute.
Right now I'm thinking, "Ideally, I'll make it back home alive."
- They greet you with a shot of vodka.
- You rent your own private room with a fireplace
- The food was just ok, but the steak fries were the best I've ever had.
- Bring your own booze.
- A Ukrainian folk band came in and performed a few songs for us.
- Strippers came into our room and handed out business cards.
- Cam brought his laptop and speakers and supplied the music.
- We broke a good amount of glasses and plates just because.
- A friend accidentally broke my big toe by stepping directly on it (while he managed a faceplant directly on the bench).
- Good company -- which is really fundamental to any good meal.
The rest of the night was kind of a blur; but I'll go on to say that we got rejected from two night clubs, ended up at a small bar where another fight spurred out with one of us and a Scottish guy (that was a scared little bitch that didn't do shit after he and this girl he was with started it) where there was pushing and shoving inside the bar, and we ended up drinking in another bar.
All I know is that last night I kept on saying, "I'm drunk (as fuck) and my toe still hurts." Today I woke up to a purple ass big toe (clearly broken) that is turning blacker by the minute. I also have a busted left knee and a big ol' bruise on my right thigh (the shape of California, the size of Rhode Island).
I think I need to spend a few more days in Kiev because I can't walk without singing that "mama say mama saw mama maku say" song in my head. I don't like house music much, but my toe is throbbing at 120 beats per minute.
Right now I'm thinking, "Ideally, I'll make it back home alive."
Saturday, February 16, 2008
FEBRUARY 16, 2008 – ROUND ONE. FIGHT!
My friend Dan gave me some sound advice the night before I left Los Angeles. He said, “No matter what you do, don’t be the pink bunny.” Well, the Pink Bunny was about to come out of the cage last night. (I boxed some guy this past Halloween, guess what my costume was).
We were at a discotech (Barsky) in Kiev last night and Mike got into a fight. It was about 4:00 AM and we were drunk (as fucksky) and waiting to leave. Now there are two versions to the story: what I saw and understood and what actually happened.
What I saw and understood. Please remember that I was very drunk, my attention was divided and I wasn't able to figure out the dynamics of the situation. We were in line at the coat check and a couple tried to cut in line. Mike told him something and they started to argue a little. Mike kept on telling him to go outside to settle it. I thought, "Fuck, Mike's drunk and started shit with the guy unnecessarily." I intervened by going in between them; first pushing the guy back and then pushing Mike away. I kept on saying "no problem" "no problem" to the couple and I kept on telling Mike, "Come on man. Not worth it. I got your back, but please don't do this to me. I don't have health insurance. Don't do this shit Mike, please. I got your back, ok, but let's just go home." I then went to the couple and introduced myself and kept on reassuring them that we didn't want any problems. We were waiting by the elevator and there was a small group of people near us. Remember, it was late, house music was pumping and my ignorance leads me to think that all Ukrainians look the same.
In retrospect, at the start of the argument, I remember hearing the guy utter "Moscow" to him and Mike pretty much told him he didn't give a shit where he was from." As we were waiting for the elevator Mike just decided he wasn't going to let the guy get away -- and he reminded me by constantly telling me he was going to punch him in the face.
He did. Then it spilled out from the lobby and it went towards the entrance of the dancefloor. I rushed over there, made sure that no one else was going to jump in as he threw the Ruskie onto the floor and kicked him in the chest. Shortly after, people came to break it up and we got forced into the elevator -- with three people following us into the elevator. From my understanding these guys were his friends, and I was constantly telling them "No trouble. We don't want any trouble." Mike wasn't worried at all (apparently I was worried enough for the both of us). In a span of 5 seconds, I summoned kung fu flicks, the Bourne Identity trilogy and even old breakdancing videos to see how we can quickly fuck all these guys up in such closed quarters. Elevator went down. We went out. We went home.
What really happened. We were in line and the guy not only cut in front of us, he pulled Mike by the neck towards him. And after the fight took place, the people that entered the elevator with us were actually bouncers, not the Ruskie's cronies. Pheww for that one, huh? So that's what actually happened. Mike kicked his ass and was definitely justified for doing so. Now, he’s my hero.
But really though, this language barrier can be real debilitating for me; I missed out on an opportunity to fuck up a dude with a mullet. I can always say that in hindsight, had I understood the situation, I would have loved to join in and at least stomp on the guy (for even trying to call out Moscow). This is OOOH ES AYE, beitschky.
We were at a discotech (Barsky) in Kiev last night and Mike got into a fight. It was about 4:00 AM and we were drunk (as fucksky) and waiting to leave. Now there are two versions to the story: what I saw and understood and what actually happened.
What I saw and understood. Please remember that I was very drunk, my attention was divided and I wasn't able to figure out the dynamics of the situation. We were in line at the coat check and a couple tried to cut in line. Mike told him something and they started to argue a little. Mike kept on telling him to go outside to settle it. I thought, "Fuck, Mike's drunk and started shit with the guy unnecessarily." I intervened by going in between them; first pushing the guy back and then pushing Mike away. I kept on saying "no problem" "no problem" to the couple and I kept on telling Mike, "Come on man. Not worth it. I got your back, but please don't do this to me. I don't have health insurance. Don't do this shit Mike, please. I got your back, ok, but let's just go home." I then went to the couple and introduced myself and kept on reassuring them that we didn't want any problems. We were waiting by the elevator and there was a small group of people near us. Remember, it was late, house music was pumping and my ignorance leads me to think that all Ukrainians look the same.
In retrospect, at the start of the argument, I remember hearing the guy utter "Moscow" to him and Mike pretty much told him he didn't give a shit where he was from." As we were waiting for the elevator Mike just decided he wasn't going to let the guy get away -- and he reminded me by constantly telling me he was going to punch him in the face.
He did. Then it spilled out from the lobby and it went towards the entrance of the dancefloor. I rushed over there, made sure that no one else was going to jump in as he threw the Ruskie onto the floor and kicked him in the chest. Shortly after, people came to break it up and we got forced into the elevator -- with three people following us into the elevator. From my understanding these guys were his friends, and I was constantly telling them "No trouble. We don't want any trouble." Mike wasn't worried at all (apparently I was worried enough for the both of us). In a span of 5 seconds, I summoned kung fu flicks, the Bourne Identity trilogy and even old breakdancing videos to see how we can quickly fuck all these guys up in such closed quarters. Elevator went down. We went out. We went home.
What really happened. We were in line and the guy not only cut in front of us, he pulled Mike by the neck towards him. And after the fight took place, the people that entered the elevator with us were actually bouncers, not the Ruskie's cronies. Pheww for that one, huh? So that's what actually happened. Mike kicked his ass and was definitely justified for doing so. Now, he’s my hero.
But really though, this language barrier can be real debilitating for me; I missed out on an opportunity to fuck up a dude with a mullet. I can always say that in hindsight, had I understood the situation, I would have loved to join in and at least stomp on the guy (for even trying to call out Moscow). This is OOOH ES AYE, beitschky.
Friday, February 15, 2008
FEBRUARY 15, 2008 - CONVERSATION ABOUT SEX
Hahaha...conversation about sex:
Someone: Once it's in, I think about hockey and I can last forever.
Me: How can you think about hockey when you have a vagina right in front of you? Shit, how can I think about hockey when, even at a hockey game, all I can think about is sex?
To take it one step further:
Me: See, the thing is..I'm that confident that I can have sex and climax in a short time and conclude that they are just as satisfied as I am.
Ok, I'm going to disclose this by saying that I'm honestly joking, ladies; interpret the ambiguity as you will.
It's midnight and we're still prepartying. If we don't leave soon, I'm going to be pre-puking.
Someone: Once it's in, I think about hockey and I can last forever.
Me: How can you think about hockey when you have a vagina right in front of you? Shit, how can I think about hockey when, even at a hockey game, all I can think about is sex?
To take it one step further:
Me: See, the thing is..I'm that confident that I can have sex and climax in a short time and conclude that they are just as satisfied as I am.
Ok, I'm going to disclose this by saying that I'm honestly joking, ladies; interpret the ambiguity as you will.
It's midnight and we're still prepartying. If we don't leave soon, I'm going to be pre-puking.
FEBRUARY 14, 2008 - THE ULTIMATE, BIONIC AMERICAN WOMAN
I admit, though I’ve been chalking up the Ukrainian women, it doesn’t mean I like them more than my beautiful American women. So in order to make up for it, instead of the usual “Women of Roe’s life awards,” I’m going to drop a new one – THE ULTIMATE BIONIC AMERICAN WOMAN.
I figure you all know me well enough to know: 1) you don’t want to fuck me, 2) really though, I can make you love me 3) you can’t ever have me, anyway. And for those that I just don’t know well enough to make an assessment, don’t lose hope. You can either fill out an application to spend time with me, where there’s quite a stack; or you can just sleep with me, which will totally expedite the process (it’ll only take, like, a minute. Anyway, here goes:
- Heidi Luko – her spiciness
- Meghan Tucker – her companionship
- Contasia Placide – her honesty
- Sara Clark – her positive energy
- Julia Jahn – her charisma
- Julia Jahn – her wit
- Amanda Hein – her sense of humor
- Amanda Hein – her optimism
- Kim Trippett – her chemistry
- Kim Trippett – her familiarity
- Katie Giannoti – her wall
- Katie Giannoti – her canvas
- The Widow – her magnetism
- The Widow – her superior intelligence
- The Widow – her ability to make me go crazy
- Angela Craig – her ability to party
- Alexa Hilal – her charm
- Blake Kidder – her style of dress
- Blake Kidder – her edge
- Blake Kidder - her creativity and the manifestation of her thoughts (writing, art)
- Sandy Tzou – her regard
- Ashlie Zussman –her sweetness
There you have it! In my wildest dreams I throw all of them into a blender and end up with the ultimate, bionic, AMERICAN WOMAN! Of those mentioned, please submit a cotton swab of your saliva, a strand of hair, or other DNA samples immediately.
I figure you all know me well enough to know: 1) you don’t want to fuck me, 2) really though, I can make you love me 3) you can’t ever have me, anyway. And for those that I just don’t know well enough to make an assessment, don’t lose hope. You can either fill out an application to spend time with me, where there’s quite a stack; or you can just sleep with me, which will totally expedite the process (it’ll only take, like, a minute. Anyway, here goes:
- Heidi Luko – her spiciness
- Meghan Tucker – her companionship
- Contasia Placide – her honesty
- Sara Clark – her positive energy
- Julia Jahn – her charisma
- Julia Jahn – her wit
- Amanda Hein – her sense of humor
- Amanda Hein – her optimism
- Kim Trippett – her chemistry
- Kim Trippett – her familiarity
- Katie Giannoti – her wall
- Katie Giannoti – her canvas
- The Widow – her magnetism
- The Widow – her superior intelligence
- The Widow – her ability to make me go crazy
- Angela Craig – her ability to party
- Alexa Hilal – her charm
- Blake Kidder – her style of dress
- Blake Kidder – her edge
- Blake Kidder - her creativity and the manifestation of her thoughts (writing, art)
- Sandy Tzou – her regard
- Ashlie Zussman –her sweetness
There you have it! In my wildest dreams I throw all of them into a blender and end up with the ultimate, bionic, AMERICAN WOMAN! Of those mentioned, please submit a cotton swab of your saliva, a strand of hair, or other DNA samples immediately.
Daily Regimen
The food here is super unhealthy so I took it upon myself to have at least one good meal a day. My daily breakfast now includes: sliced banana, pomegranates, grapefruit...washed down with some vegetable juice with a squeeze of lemon.
Cars in Ukraine
I got off on a random stop from the metro and spent a few hours wandering around. As soon as I started seeing a bunch of military vehicles I was like, "Fuck that!" and bounced.
Street Beggar
Honestly though, I wish I would've snapped this photo before I gave him money; he was playing this old ass accordion. Either way, I was glad to give him enough money to take a break from the cold.
Street Beggar
I've always been in favor of giving money to legitimate street beggars; but after seeing this, I've made it a personal commitment. I gave her 2 hryvna which is only like $.40.
People, let's help each other.
People, let's help each other.
Snowy Day in Kiev
My former boss drove this car and I used to drive it around when he borrowed my truck to move stuff.
Riding the Bus
I just jumped onto the bus without paying and went for a ride without any idea where I was going. I got myself lost (somewhat on purpose) and eventually found my way to the metro and returned back two hours later.
Highly Decorated Ukrainian Soldier
This is the outfit of the most highly Ukrainian decorated soldier in WWII. Reespeck!
Holding the Torch
They all worked at a carwash in Moscow. The only English speaker was their boss and decided to take them out.
Three Drugs (Russian for friend)
I met these cool cats from Moscow en route to the WWII Museum and ended up touring the spot with them and offered to take pictures of them.
FEBRUARY 13, 2008 – KOKOH ART CAFE'
So people here in Kiev find it funny that I drink my coffee black. I was at a coffee shop last night and I ordered a “Coffee Americano” (they only serve instant coffee here) and when the brought the cup of sugar, I waved it away; the server just shook her head in disappointment and just walked away.
Now I’m just chilling here and I’m pretty glad to have stumbled upon this “bohemian” joint. I tried walking around to see the BIG LADY STATUE; I wish I knew what the actual name was because I tried asking people if they knew where “The big lady” (in the slowest possible English) was and they were quick to look at me weird and end that conversation. I even pointed to a heavy-set lady and did the universal arm gestures for “of epic proportions” to no avail. So now I’m all fucking lost again after my three hour attempt. Who cares. Though, I’ll tell you that the biggest question I’ve been posing to myself, rather than: Who am I, really? What do I want to become? Am I really gay or is Ricky Martin just a crush?....the most frequent question I ask myself is, “The fuck?” Like, I’d walk around and get lost and be like, “The fuck?” Then I’d try to ask someone and then they’d answer, in hurried Ukrainian that I don’t understand, and I’d conclude “The fuck.” Never have I experienced a situation where the answer was the same as the question; surely I must be in another universe. You know, fuck it, I don’t really need to see any historical/fine art museums, cathedrals or monuments. I can experience the history and culture in other ways – the history through the wrinkles of the hardened faces of elderly women (slanging potatoes and dirty heads of cabbage). I’d rather run into a Banksy stencil or a WK wheat pasting (google Banksy, he’s an art god) then stare at a Monet or a Rembrandt; classical art was never relevant to me anyway, it was more like, forced down my throat throughout my Euro-centric curriculum anyway).
Anyway, I’ve always felt that the best way to experience a place is through the people – their facial expressions, style of dress, diet, stories, music, social interactions, etc. Allow me to explain in my flawed logic:
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
For the most part Ukrainians seem real stoic and very cold. Maybe it’s the years of communism and poverty. But in all honesty, when they smile the snow melts and the gray buildings turn pastel in color. The men are probably all dicks as a result of years of hard labor (the people here look 10 years older than they actually are); and when vodka serves as a furnace and a coping mechanism, it becomes that much more apparent. As for the women, they must be the way they are because the men are aggressive and mad, and the ignorant confidence of Westerners to think that the babooshkas are at their dispoal. They must be beautiful because…fuck who gives a shit, they’re alluring, and beauty is to be enjoyed, not explained.
STYLE OF DRESS
By seeing how people dress I can see how much influence Western Culture has on their society (Levi’s 501s cost over $120 here). It’s also a great indicator of the socioeconomic status, and if there’s a strong middle class I can assume the economy is rather strong.
DIET
I love food so that’s the #1 determinant of whether or not I can deem the city liveable. The food also shows me what kind of agricultural resources are available. And what the soil and climate may suggest. Here, potatoes reign supreme. As for fruits, it’s all about oranges and bananas (surprisingly much sweeter than those found in the states…makes me want to stab the Chiquita lady).
STORIES AND SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
The stories are all relative but the interactions can show the true state of the union and social mindset. The formalities and greetings can offer insight to how they view fellow countrymen, and their social norms and mores. What I greatly appreciate about Ukrainians is, despite the “developing nation hustle,” no one tires to hustle you. People don’t peddle shit in your face and they treat foreigners with the same rigidness as they do their fellow citizens. For real though, can you just fucking smile?
MUSIC – Ok, this lets me know how “cool” they are. How illogical and subjective is that, huh? Well, let my truth be told. People that listen to mostly dance music (what I coin “little involvement music”…I need a better term but I’m pretty buzzed) probably suggests a state of emotional suppression (in a macro sense, an emotionally repressed, collectivistic society). It may be a form of escapism (whether because they deal with enough shit in their daily lives and don’t want to think about it, they suppress their own feelings because that’s the way the family is structured, they harmoniously adhere to certain gender roles, or because they aspire to a type of fantasy land – weaving a loose thread through the pulsating beats in search of some form of solidarity or to create some sort of momentum, no matter how temporary or fleeting it may be. On the contrary, sub-pop genres (reggae, hip hop, punk, metal) may show a diversified culture where people have the luxury to swing from the collectivistic canopies into their own private Idahos. Strong pop/dance music, to me, can show a lack of emotional self-indulgence and a premature self development. A society that focuses more on individualization will probably have more niche genres. That’s the way I see it; so sue me.
Right before I go back to the lab to cook my potato dumplings I just wanted to plug the “SNUGPAK” brand of cold weather gear. Their jackets are super compressible (coming with stuff sacks that will turn them into pillows), light and inexpensive (I paid $109 for mine compared to a $300 Northface I was going to buy) and I’m walking around, very comfortably with only a shirt underneath, in Ukrainian snow. If you want a solid product and don’t want to front on some status symbol shit, buy SNUGPAK. No kidding, I often founded it to be too warm.
Now I’m just chilling here and I’m pretty glad to have stumbled upon this “bohemian” joint. I tried walking around to see the BIG LADY STATUE; I wish I knew what the actual name was because I tried asking people if they knew where “The big lady” (in the slowest possible English) was and they were quick to look at me weird and end that conversation. I even pointed to a heavy-set lady and did the universal arm gestures for “of epic proportions” to no avail. So now I’m all fucking lost again after my three hour attempt. Who cares. Though, I’ll tell you that the biggest question I’ve been posing to myself, rather than: Who am I, really? What do I want to become? Am I really gay or is Ricky Martin just a crush?....the most frequent question I ask myself is, “The fuck?” Like, I’d walk around and get lost and be like, “The fuck?” Then I’d try to ask someone and then they’d answer, in hurried Ukrainian that I don’t understand, and I’d conclude “The fuck.” Never have I experienced a situation where the answer was the same as the question; surely I must be in another universe. You know, fuck it, I don’t really need to see any historical/fine art museums, cathedrals or monuments. I can experience the history and culture in other ways – the history through the wrinkles of the hardened faces of elderly women (slanging potatoes and dirty heads of cabbage). I’d rather run into a Banksy stencil or a WK wheat pasting (google Banksy, he’s an art god) then stare at a Monet or a Rembrandt; classical art was never relevant to me anyway, it was more like, forced down my throat throughout my Euro-centric curriculum anyway).
Anyway, I’ve always felt that the best way to experience a place is through the people – their facial expressions, style of dress, diet, stories, music, social interactions, etc. Allow me to explain in my flawed logic:
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
For the most part Ukrainians seem real stoic and very cold. Maybe it’s the years of communism and poverty. But in all honesty, when they smile the snow melts and the gray buildings turn pastel in color. The men are probably all dicks as a result of years of hard labor (the people here look 10 years older than they actually are); and when vodka serves as a furnace and a coping mechanism, it becomes that much more apparent. As for the women, they must be the way they are because the men are aggressive and mad, and the ignorant confidence of Westerners to think that the babooshkas are at their dispoal. They must be beautiful because…fuck who gives a shit, they’re alluring, and beauty is to be enjoyed, not explained.
STYLE OF DRESS
By seeing how people dress I can see how much influence Western Culture has on their society (Levi’s 501s cost over $120 here). It’s also a great indicator of the socioeconomic status, and if there’s a strong middle class I can assume the economy is rather strong.
DIET
I love food so that’s the #1 determinant of whether or not I can deem the city liveable. The food also shows me what kind of agricultural resources are available. And what the soil and climate may suggest. Here, potatoes reign supreme. As for fruits, it’s all about oranges and bananas (surprisingly much sweeter than those found in the states…makes me want to stab the Chiquita lady).
STORIES AND SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
The stories are all relative but the interactions can show the true state of the union and social mindset. The formalities and greetings can offer insight to how they view fellow countrymen, and their social norms and mores. What I greatly appreciate about Ukrainians is, despite the “developing nation hustle,” no one tires to hustle you. People don’t peddle shit in your face and they treat foreigners with the same rigidness as they do their fellow citizens. For real though, can you just fucking smile?
MUSIC – Ok, this lets me know how “cool” they are. How illogical and subjective is that, huh? Well, let my truth be told. People that listen to mostly dance music (what I coin “little involvement music”…I need a better term but I’m pretty buzzed) probably suggests a state of emotional suppression (in a macro sense, an emotionally repressed, collectivistic society). It may be a form of escapism (whether because they deal with enough shit in their daily lives and don’t want to think about it, they suppress their own feelings because that’s the way the family is structured, they harmoniously adhere to certain gender roles, or because they aspire to a type of fantasy land – weaving a loose thread through the pulsating beats in search of some form of solidarity or to create some sort of momentum, no matter how temporary or fleeting it may be. On the contrary, sub-pop genres (reggae, hip hop, punk, metal) may show a diversified culture where people have the luxury to swing from the collectivistic canopies into their own private Idahos. Strong pop/dance music, to me, can show a lack of emotional self-indulgence and a premature self development. A society that focuses more on individualization will probably have more niche genres. That’s the way I see it; so sue me.
Right before I go back to the lab to cook my potato dumplings I just wanted to plug the “SNUGPAK” brand of cold weather gear. Their jackets are super compressible (coming with stuff sacks that will turn them into pillows), light and inexpensive (I paid $109 for mine compared to a $300 Northface I was going to buy) and I’m walking around, very comfortably with only a shirt underneath, in Ukrainian snow. If you want a solid product and don’t want to front on some status symbol shit, buy SNUGPAK. No kidding, I often founded it to be too warm.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Nazi Pendant
I bought this because I've always been intrigued by the swastika -- it's such a powerful symbol of hate and pure evil.
From a design point, I like the symmetry. Also, in Chinese (reversed) it's the symbol for restaurant. And you know I love pork buns.
From a design point, I like the symmetry. Also, in Chinese (reversed) it's the symbol for restaurant. And you know I love pork buns.
Me Posing
Roe: How would they (Ukrainian people) react if you were to take a picture of me fucking Stalin's leg?
Jeff: They'd stare at you if you did anything non-Ukrainian -- which is to stand in front of it and look upset or pissed off.
I went for upset and shortly after a bunch of university girls straight up laughed at me.
I think that tomorrow I"m going to ask random people to take pictures of me -- and I'll frown in each one just to fuck with them.
Jeff: They'd stare at you if you did anything non-Ukrainian -- which is to stand in front of it and look upset or pissed off.
I went for upset and shortly after a bunch of university girls straight up laughed at me.
I think that tomorrow I"m going to ask random people to take pictures of me -- and I'll frown in each one just to fuck with them.
Bazaar in Kiev
Here you can buy bootleg movies, games, CDs (with complete libraries), books, stationary, software, etc.
I picked up a Russian Roots Reggae CD, Russian phrase book, and blank CDs here.
I picked up a Russian Roots Reggae CD, Russian phrase book, and blank CDs here.
Ukrainian Poet's House
So this guy (forget his name) is the most famous Ukrainian poet and this is his house. Please find out and send me some of his poetry so that I won't sound so ignorant next time.
Fish for Lunch
That there is mashed potatoes and the two balls are fish. The fish is covered in rice and then deep fried.
Before this I had some dumpling soup, and some salad (which is nothing more than shredded cabbage and mayo).
Before this I had some dumpling soup, and some salad (which is nothing more than shredded cabbage and mayo).
Ham Sandwich
Food in Ukraine blows. Though, I only paid $1 for this sandwich; it was the best thing I could get for a light meal. Dude, the salads are loaded with mayo. But the beer here was a little over $1 for a liter. Though the food wasn't Ukrainian at all, the place was definitely for locals.
FEBRUARY 11, 2008 - MIKE'S APARTMENT
"Heaven is a distance, not a place" - Sam Beam, Iron & Wine
"I'm gonna steal a silver stallion with not a mark upon its silky high. And teach him he can trust me like a sister. One day we'll saddle up and ride. And we're gonna ride, we're gonna ride. Ride it like the one eyed jack of diamons with the devil close behind." - Chan Marshall, Cat Power
Another sleepless night led me to wake up at 5:00 AM; lost the tussle with my sheets, conquered 50 pages of my Bukowski novel; only to fall back asleep four hours later (for another two). My energy level is low and I'm in need of some produce. The "5 a day" is slowly becoming a "5 a week." Currently it's a "5 whenever you can, fuck it, nevermind, handle it." I must say that I do miss my friends and me wanting to extend my trip as long as possible is lightly attributed to me delaying the changes I'll have to face upon my return. After all, Al will be in New York, Heidi will be doing yoga on some Chilean beach, Sara will be with Matt in New York, etc. What the fuck is this, huh? Man, the shit and constant state of chaos that life can bring, huh? Nonetheless, I too, must take the form of a rolling stone -- never to catch any moss. What do you want from me? After all, I suffer melancholy thoughts. After all, I embrace melancholy thoughts. Balance, I guess. What do you want me to do? I'm only human. Fuck that, I'm super human.
Sound Planet Swede
I forget her name but we danced for like 3 hours and fuck, I'm just glad I didn't end up getting bunions on my feet.
I'm down with downtempo and all but can I get some hip hop? It was funny because we'd dance, then all of a sudden she'd break out and start pop locking, and then she'd flap her arms around real fast like she was a swimming chicken or like, Gregory Hines.
I'm down with downtempo and all but can I get some hip hop? It was funny because we'd dance, then all of a sudden she'd break out and start pop locking, and then she'd flap her arms around real fast like she was a swimming chicken or like, Gregory Hines.
Sound Planet Marco
Chlling at the club with very cool cat, ex-pat named Marco. Very good group of guys here in Kieve; they instantly made me feel at home.
I've never lived outside of Los Angeles, but my old roommate Pat was right -- there's good people to be found everywhere.
That night, I pretty much came to the conclusion that I can live anywhere so long as I have a foundation of good people.
We had a pretty meaningful conversation about family values (and stuff like that) before we got schnitzel faced. By the way, schnitzel means chicken cutlet.
Either way, this joint was expensive as fuck. $20 cover, $4 Red Bulls, $4 waters. It was fun; but really, this place can suck a donkey dick.
I've never lived outside of Los Angeles, but my old roommate Pat was right -- there's good people to be found everywhere.
That night, I pretty much came to the conclusion that I can live anywhere so long as I have a foundation of good people.
We had a pretty meaningful conversation about family values (and stuff like that) before we got schnitzel faced. By the way, schnitzel means chicken cutlet.
Either way, this joint was expensive as fuck. $20 cover, $4 Red Bulls, $4 waters. It was fun; but really, this place can suck a donkey dick.
Beer Kiosk
These kiosks are everywhere. Good, cheap way to pre party. This was at a kiosk right across the street from the discotech.
Three 1 liter beers cost me like, $2.
By the way, it's cold as fuck out there. Standing from left to right are: Lewis, Mike and Jeff.
Three 1 liter beers cost me like, $2.
By the way, it's cold as fuck out there. Standing from left to right are: Lewis, Mike and Jeff.
Kiev Casino
Jeff won $50 Hryven from some shitty slot machine and started waving it around to celebrate.
Cocksucker casino manager started to get mad and kicked us out for being loud (we weren't loud at all).
After some bickering, Jeff just told him "Suck my dick." and we all bounced out to the club.
I had to follow Dan's advice: "Don't be the pink bunny."
Cocksucker casino manager started to get mad and kicked us out for being loud (we weren't loud at all).
After some bickering, Jeff just told him "Suck my dick." and we all bounced out to the club.
I had to follow Dan's advice: "Don't be the pink bunny."
Sound Planet Game
Out of respect for people's privacy (including mine) I won't disclose who ended up hooking up with who. And just to be smart for my own good, and because there are some potential candidates that may be reading this, I'm not going to dig my own grave.
However, if you ever want to know what's up, you can ALWAYS tell how I feel about someone through my photography. Dig deep, look at the way I see them, and decipher what developed.
However, if you ever want to know what's up, you can ALWAYS tell how I feel about someone through my photography. Dig deep, look at the way I see them, and decipher what developed.
Kiev Metro
Where in the states would you see shit like this in the middle of the night? Truly an awesome city.
Ukraine - Graffiti
I'm pretty impressed with this person's style. I'm down with that scroll on the bottom also. This was taken while I was walking back from a friend's house after partying till 4:00 am.
FEBRUARY 10, 2008 - MIKE'S APARTMENT
Super hard to sleep last night because I was so convoluted with thoughts, I thought my head was going to burn a hole through the bottom of the mattress. Last night we went out to Sound Planet -- a rather posh nightclub that spun downtempo and house. Fuck, I miss masculine music. Well, last night I had my first encounter with ex pats and Ukranian women. The guys I met were all former Peace Corps volunteers. It's just amazing how those cats all rejected the standard inpath in life and chose their own adventure. People warned me that this trip would change my life, but I didn't think it'd happen this early. It's weird, teh admiration and envy I feel towards them. I was supposed to be one of them -- for two years I tried with the Peace Corps, their lives were supposed to be my life! But they said that the best experience was to live abroad, and I guess that's possilbe for me. I'm starting to realize that happiness is all relative and that I just might try to work something out, maybe get a job at a local paper or something; just probably not in Ukraine.
The women here are killer, but stone fucking cold. I hear it's hard to get them to open up and get to know them. God, you know what that's going to do to me? It's like there's a barrier, thicker than Stalin's mustache, keeping "them" from "me." Though compared to American women, they are way hotter -- creamy skin, dark hair, drab-colored layered clothes looking like presents I'd just want to unwrap, pouty lips, transparent eyes...oh lordy lordy. But then I do enjoy meaningful conversations and crazy characteristics that I can find in American women -- Heidi's spiciness, Meghan's acceptance, the polarizing W---- (gifted with natural beauty and supreme intelligence, but burdened with horrible fashion sense and a Midwestern IQof what's "cool"), Angela's wildness, Katie's mystery, etc.. Ukranian women, in their defense, do know beauty and feminity like a motherfucker. They wear heels just to walk a block to the grocery store and American women go out in sweats. For real, just because it says "juicy" or "pink" or whatever doesn't make you presentable (or any less of a slob). Whatever, maybe the feminization of men and aloofness of the women will blur the gender lines and we'll all give birth to hermaphrodites. But for real, American women (for the most part) are more well-balanced and down to earth. Asian women (for the all part), fuck them -- with their materialism, sheepish mindsets, and Caucasian aspirations! God though, I hope I don't get to know any of those closed, stoic Ukranian women -- what with their beauty and barrier; what a delightful challenge for me. What an opportunity for me to get fucked over! They're perfect for me. Ha! Fuck it, who needs conversation? That's what Jay, Roy, Chris and Go are for.
Either way, last night was fun and it was dope to walk around Kiev, at 3:00 AM, with a bunch of Americans that speak fluent Ukranian and Russian. Not too sure how I'd get along without them but I'm confident my ghetto instinct will take over. I just have to listen to Dan, "Don't be the pink bunny."
-------
Me: I'm a little tipsy and I only had one vodka drink.
Jeff: It's the adrenaline.
No doubt. And the vodka is only like $3 a bottle. Since I've been eating shitty, I decided to go get some fresh produce and juices (pomegranate, vegetable, guava, etc.). Coincidentally, they all mix well with vodka.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)